hope

tonight i was alone. alone to think. alone to work. alone to do as i pleased. in a way it was a welcome break from the cares of being a mother, but it was also unexpectedly lonely. i worked on some projects i haven't had time to pick up in a while, and while i did so i watched the movie "The Young Victoria". it made me cry. so many tears. Albert and Victoria were so incredibly dedicated and devoted to one another! in every circumstance. why, you ask, would i watch a love story when my marriage is so rocky and unsure? of course i knew it would make me cry. but love stories give me hope. hope for a brighter future and lasting love and companionship. i don't believe in fairy tales. not because they don't exist, but because i don't know them by such terms. fairy tales originated from something more than imagination. something deeper. i believe they came from hearts in love. hearts that had experienced such bliss and devotion. president Dieter F. Uchtdorf spoke on "happily ever afters" this past general conference. he mentioned how every fairy tale character has challenges and trials they must overcome before they ultimately reach this "impossible" end. so my marriage is rocky... and i watch love stories. they're real to me. real enough i know i can have one of my own. i just need to overcome my own personal "dragons" and "witches". and then i will find my own happily ever after.